I Am So My Hair…Deal With It

This morning I found myself reading hair posts from another blog ( and it got me thinking that I totally miscalculated my hair journey. Yes, I have been natural five years but in all that time, I never moisturized, oiled, deep conditioned or did any of the things I was meant to do for the health of my hair. You are probably thinking, ist just hair and you are right…for the most part.

I always say I am my hair because I truly am. My hair wouldn´t exist without me now would it? I could just easily go to the afro stores and purchase a jar of relaxer and just slap it on and be done after all this was my goal, to stay natural for five years then add relaxer every two years.

I recently got tired of dealing with my hair and yes I am now living the fifth year mark, but have decided to keep my hair natural for another five and see what happens. so to not deal with my hair regularly, I started installing yarn. Like a girl I know on a hair group would say, I feed my hair then install yarn and I leave it in for 4 weeks.

It has been one year since I realized my hair care or lack of it has been wrong and less than that actually since I started a steady routine. I began deep conditioning around February I believe and being a lazy natural, I do this once a month. I never co wash which is not a crime. But I do moisturize daily and as I said before in an old post, my hair is seriously thanking me for it.

Now one thing I do not agree with is people going on and on about the European Standard Of Beauty. We all just like to blame our problems on someone else. It is much easier to deal with them that way than accepting your fáilure. The Europeans didn´t come into Africa and say to us…ye must have straight hair or die…nope, I´m pretty sure they didnt. So many people will def not agree with me on this and boohoo for them, but this is my opinion.

Everyone just some how managed to get into the business of having straight hair and it just stuck. I worked at a place once where my Boss sees my natural hair the one time I let it out while working and she…yes she… told me to do something about it that it looks really bad. Her do something meant braid or wear a wig or something. Now I have no problem doing any of that, but only because I want to, not because someone told me to. She´s my Boss so what? My hair isn´t typing away at my desk, my hair isn´t talking to clients. Did I do as she asked? Ermm of course not. Did she fire me for that? No she didnt. Why? Because I was good at what I did for her.

So more often, it is Africans who actually have a problem with a person keeping her kinks. Can anyone explain how the European Standard Of Beauty got onto everyones lips? Lets not blame anyone but us for not treasuring what we have. The good part is that mothers are now determined to keep their kids hair natural. So it may seem like a trend, but at least it is a good one.

Let us not see straight weave as a bad thing though, because it is not. No harm ever came from changing your looks to spice up your life abi?


Here is to the next five years….


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  • I definitely agree with when you said we all like to blame our problems on someone else, that is so true sometimes. I also just watched a natural hair discussion that brought up the topic of using natural hair as an excuse off not being able to get a job. which is something I disagree with, people get very comfortable using this excuse.
    High 5 on this post it was really awesome to read. Am doing my transition for a good 2 years and I really like being natural so far.

    • Thank you Ola!!! Kind words. True too. We shouldnt let our hair be a problem we cant handle. I actually wish i transitioned. 2Years wow…good job

  • my ist time here and am loving it

  • Nice post, still waiting to see a picture of your fro.
    I nominated you for the Liebster Award btw, looking forward to reading your answers!!

    • Lol my fro aint ready for you yet missy!! Oh wow. Ive been seeing that going around but never thought i will get nominated. Thank you. Will have answers soon!!

  • NC

    Nigeria does not exist in a vacuum. We live in a world where the media – even/particular Nigerian media – promotes Eurocentric standards of beauty. These filter into our consciousness from an early age – we see this when lighter skinned people are better treated than darker skinned people (hence the increasing proliferation of skin bleaching in Nigeria – like in other African countries); we see this where everyone feels their natural hair is inferior to straight hair, hence the inability to wear one’s own hair without having to defend to everyone. What could be more eurocentric than straight hair that definitely does not occur naturally among Nigerians?

    That said, I agree that we need to take responsibility for our actions. If more black women just carried their own hair without apology, the world would have no choice but to get used to it. But then it’s easy for those of us who have choices in life, who have seen the world and have some intersectional privileges, to make declarations of that nature. It’s essential to also try to see the world from other perspectives, from those who do not have the privileges we share.

    • I always wanted to do a post on skin bleaching but here’s my opinion on it: none. I used to hate it cos to me it was a sure sign of “dark skin is bad”. Growing up, I had close family members who did it and I never really thought much about it until I started travelling and meeting diff ppl. Sure dark skinned girls got the shorter end of the stick but who’s fault is that? Not there’s….hmmm, will def do a post on it now that I think about it.
      For me, the way a woman chooses to wear her hair shouldn’t be a cause for segregation. Hair choices isn’t such a big deal in my opinion (again not everyone would agree with me) so hey, whatever rocks your boat!!!

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