Hair

The Day I Shunned The NHC

I´ve recently been a lot more careful with dealing with my hair….this isn´t news ofcourse… but I do know hair struggle is so real!!! Now the reason I´m talking hair today is because last weekend I read a post on a natural hair page where the writer was sure assed mad about another hair blogger featuring a caucasian woman with curly hair.

Every sentence I read got me really mad but I figured, hey it is her own opinion. Then the comments that followed had me banging my head on the wall. It was a complete shock to see how black American women felt about the whole movement…yes that´s what it is, a movement, deal or walk away.

We go on and on about how racism is still alive and I agree that it is. But shouldn´t we help stop it than fuel it some more? My thinking about the whole natural hair used to be that the community grew to help women deal with their kinks, understand it and know how to keep it healthy.

Apparently most black women in America don´t think the way I do regarding kinky hair. The writer went on to say that natural hair community was founded by black women in America and why should a caucasian woman be featured? They want to take over the discovery????? Wow. My jaw dropped at this sorry crap.

Of course I dropped my own opinion but she must not have liked it cos it got deleted or maybe it got drowned by the plus 400 more comments I do not know and do not care. I have totally had it with this natural hair crap. One cow even said black people are not racist. That was a laugh because I do know for a fact that stupid questions like “do you live in a tree” has been asked by black American people.

They go on about wanting to be referred to as African American. How the bloody hell are you African American when you discriminate against pure Africans, have never been to Africa and your fore father´s African heritage is sooooo bloody way behind and when someone asks where you are from, you say New York or Alabama or Houston. If you are African American, you should be from Kenya or Egypt or Nigeria or Ghana…you get my point. You are black does not automatically make you African mbok.

How the bloody hell did hair become about racism and segregation. Black women have hair struggles does not mean that caucasian or asian or whatever sian women do not have some kind of hair struggle too. Why do we always have to make big deals about nothing? I put relaxer in my hair and I´m seen as not loving my God given hair. I wear a weave and I´m seen as being ashamed of my own true texture or conforming to European Beauty Standards…whatever the bloody hell that means.

Why should I be judged for my hair choices? It is nobody´s business how I choose to wear my hair really. I like it and do not mind the struggles at all so hey, you shouldn´t.

This afternoon I spent a lot of time deep conditioning, washing and detangling my hair and my arms hurt like hell but I did it alone, no one helped so no ones opinion is needed. If I had my hair permed and wore straight weaves, I used my money to buy the weaves, I paid the stylist to install it, no one helped fund it(except Gorgeousness LOL: But even his opinion on how I choose to wear my hair is not needed….I listen and if I like his suggestions I take it. *tongue out*). My mum used to tell me my hair was nasty and I should get a perm but her words never hurt me at all truly. I have never been upset when anyone gave me negative comments about my hair. Why? Because their opinions never mattered. The growth rate didn´t change, the pattern didn´t change, neither did the texture so why should I be upset?

My obvious point here is no one has the right to tell you how to wear your hair. Not your family, not your Boss, not your school teachers, nobody. If you want to wear a bikini on your head, hey if ist comfy, I say do it. If you apply relaxers on your hair and is easier for you to manage this way, I say hell, do it. If you want a Brazillian or Mongolian or freaking Arabian, go for it.

This crap about natural hair being about discovering yourself, not wanting to conform to the accepted beauty standards, accepting how God made you blahdibla has got to die a really cool death. not the kind of easy death Joffery got(really upset with the writer for making his death so simple by the way).

Yes I was quite upset reading all the ignorant comments written by black women in America. They go on and on about slavery this and that and yet they are not willing to open their minds to change. Again, I´m not saying that racism isn´t alive and well, I will be deluding myself thinking it isn´t. I just will not accept it by feeding into it. Sure no one is born racist, they are taught and when we as black people assume everything is about racism, it only fuels the die hards into prolonging this hatred into the minds of their younger generation.

I wrote a post once about someone passing a racist comment towards us and I realized later that by listening to Gorgeousness, I prevented something stupid from happening. He could have made that comment out of admiration but I saw it as racist. I could go on and teach my kids to hate everyone who isn´t the same skin color as them but what would that do to them ?

So I have officially unliked all natural hair pages and am sooooooo done with the hair bull. Will I apply relaxer? Hell no but I´m not looking up to any naturalistas especially black American women with natural hair because reading such crap is detrimental to my health, hair and otherwise!!!! Yup, I said it!!!

About the author

phoenix

phoenix

  • Am actually clapping at this point, I love your honesty in the post. There is so much I want to say but its hard getting all my points to writing because there are so much but overall I completely understand where you are coming come. Especially about the whole heritage thing lol your writing reminds me so much of my own but I lost passion because people don’t read as much so it wore me out trying to be the voice of reason. when every blog post was about celeb, lipstick, hair, ootd. I just lost a lot I mean a lot of writing passion. I hope you don’t hate my next post lol because from this lol just ignore it. However I do have a new perspective so I’ll infuse this when I write. Great post. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for saying this!!! You should get back that passion cos your writing is totally off the charts!!!(always wanted to say that haha) but truly, you write exceptionally well and I always visit your blog in search of a new post!!

    • I know what you mean about posts on blogs. It is quite nice reading all that but sometimes, you just want something sincere and about life in general!!! I suck big time when it comes to fashion and make up so making a post about these things will be hard for me so I get my doses on other blogs!!! Thank you again Ola!!!

  • Okay. Great post it was interesting to read. Is there a reason you deleted my comment if I offended you in any way please let me know.

    • Not at all, I lurrrrrrvvvvved your comment!!!! No offence at all Ola I’m all for honesty!!!

      • Morning Hii, Sorry I thought the comment was deleted because I didn’t see it initially but thanks for responding 🙂

        • Nope….didn’t delete. You are welcome!!!

  • Hair! I simply do what is good for me at a particular time. Right now am on low cut because I never had good hair. I had to cut off my daughters permed hair because of the damage. I fix weavon and braid for them.

    AA are more racists! They mock our accent! They are angry towards us because of the slavery era, blaming our ancestors. But slavery was every where! Even in the bible, slaves were bought and sold!

    Blogging is no longer the way I met it when I started. People don’t have the patience to read long epistles and juicy news are more entertaining. I simply write out my thoughts and leave it there for interested readers.

    • Lol its sad really regarding them but hey, that’s the way they chose to deal with it.

  • NC

    This is why we don’t progress. White people take our stuff because we give it away on plate. They subsequently benefit from it, make money from it, take the acclaim, write history, while we sit there, perpetually victims.

    This isn’t about racism towards white people – this is about claiming a space for black women – which seems to be a crime for some reason. I personally want spaces for black women where we can explore our full humanity, without white people. We have to deal with them everyday and deal with endemic racism – why can’t we have spaces like everyone else to be with one another peacefully without the (often ignorant) presence of white women? Our struggles as black women are not their struggles. They have every platform available to them to discuss anything beauty-related – why must they be welcome in a space specifically designed for black women to heal from the damage the world inflicts on us a daily basis?

    Black women in America know what it’s like to be born into a white supremacist world. They’re not shielded like we have been due to being born into a majority black country – their comments are a bit strong sometimes, born from a lifetime of oversensitivity. But at least they’re seeing the wider picture – they’re not swallowing the lie that the onus of eradicating racism is on black people (or black women), and we have to let white people walk all over us, in the name of eradicating racism.

    Racism is much more than saying mean things, or segregation. Perhaps when this is understood, there’ll be a better appreciation of where they are coming from. I used to feel as you did, but understanding has certainly changed my view on things.

    • “White people” take our stuff. That is hilarious. But you are right, its given to them on a gold platter. No one is pointing a shot gun to our skulls. This is what we have been doing, sitting and claiming victims. Its sure not about racism but it ends up exactly like that. We all jump for joy when a black wo/man achieves something in a world “meant” for Caucasians. Why? Because its one step forward to ending racism. For me, its hard enough being a woman so including skin color just takes away the “struggle”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first person to whip out my tongue as a blade in the face of racism. But rushing to put another race down because u feel like a victim isn’t the smartest way. It will def breed more hatred. You end up having to choose sides which is a sure path to war where there will be no survivors. What should we be teaching our kids? Defending their reaction because they were not shielded would not change anything. Its the way the mind of a bully works. They get racism from the white folks and then transfer racism to black Africans… How’s that healing the damage?

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