Hair Information

The White Savior Concept…

It’s a lazy Monday, I’ve got a lot of Hausaufgaben zu machen, I’m updating my social pages while ignoring the aufräumen I’m supposed to be doing and trailing blogs to view contents and I found a post by a writer for the BGLH site called Chinwe. Now my post isn’t about her writing skills or the topic. It’s dealing with the comments which is what always takes me to that site. Sad Ich weiß aber du must know that a lot of times, the comments move away from the reason behind the post and begin a whole new subject.

From an old post I uploaded,I talked about how upset I had become with the natural hair community. For some reason, the fact that black women are embracing their true texture has opened up a whole can of worms, maggots, beans and sardines!

It goes from hating yourself because you wear weaves, to being segregated from the black women that choose to keep on with chemically enhancing their hair to racism. Now a lot of women are claiming relaxers destroyed their hair as their reason for returning natural and while this may be true for some people, what does it say about the others?

Questions like why did you return natural is flowing around and the easiest responses are: relaxers destroyed my hair, I was living a lie, I was tired of spending money(now this I find funny cos ppl still manage to spend loads of cash on hair products and let’s not even attack companies that feel the need to put outrageous prices on hair products…story for another day)

So now, Ms Chinwe talked about how she hated her kinky kitchen(a word I never heard of until today which is apparently used to describe the extra kinky curls at your nape) and that it was her “white” boyfriend who opened her eyes to the cuteness of her nape hair.

A lot of times, you hear or read about cases where people of other races are more appreciative of the African hair and more supportive of the decision to return natural and this I know to be true from people I know personally. In my case, I was already back to my kinks before I met Gorgeousness but he is one of my greatest supporters in regards to keeping my hair natural.

Now the whole savior syndrome from my understanding is where black women feel the need to announce that their “white lover” made them love their kinky hair and while this is not a bad thing, racism comes into play almost at the word “white”.

The question becomes; why should race be added? Why not just say my lover and leave out their skin color? Why feel the need to stamp in the fact that they are of a different race from you?

Who says people of other races including yours can’t encourage you to return and stay natural? Why is the white savior flag being displayed more often? Don’t look at me for answers!

My greatest supporters are my beautiful twin sister and my gorgeous husband who happens to be Caucasian and I’m not ashamed to admit he knows my hair better than I do(the poor love even researches afro hair texture and once explained to me why my hair doesn’t look like it’s growing when I grumbled about its length)

A lot of people would disagree with me, but my belief is that it’s all just hair and no big deal. Sure it has helped a lot of people understand who they are, it has helped build confidence and determination. It builds perseverance and hey let’s not forget DIY skills are off the charts with natural hair!

At the end of the day, you can be who you are regardless of what hair you are sporting or what race you are or who you are dating or married to.

As black women, we need to understand that words however they have been written or spoken should not determine how our lives play out.

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  • Chioma

    The way people fuzz about this natural hair thing I mean what’s th big deal? It is just hair without lye. And you are right, whether you keep your natural hair or not, just be yourself simple.

    • I so agree with you Chioma, the whole fuss can get a tad bit overwhelming and for me, it takes away the joy of having natural hair. No one should be put in a box and you should not have to feel that you are in a world of popular versus unpopular.

  • Clara

    The white savior thing…Hmm where to start? I think it comes from having some sort of inferiority complex, like there’s another race of peopl who are better than you. I obviously don’t agree with you, we are the human race, and of cos there’s the good, the bad and the ugly in every population! Colour really doesn’t come into it. This is kind of why I got pissed off with the guy from Dubai when he first started boasting about having been with white girls, then denigrating other races, I just couldn’t any more with him!

    As per hair, i think it’s kind of a personality thing (and also due to inferiority complex). some people just go overboard with every new trend, and others, not being secure enough become judgemental/seek approval etc… such a mess. Me I think my paremnts did one thing very right for us, and that was making us realise that hair is just that. I hope to convey the same to my future daughters (and sons!).

    Sorry for the epistle, but this really gets my goat.

    • Don’t apologize! I encourage epistles! (Like the diva would say) yeah I know what you mean! A few years ago, I met a lot of black girls who said they can never date black men(my words make it milder. Theirs, not so much) when you swim in a dirty pool of inferiority, you develop a mind that convinces you that your own race is bad and ugly hence your attempt to sink into the life of a person who would do anything to be approved by the “good and prettier” race.
      Yes I agree that hair is a personality thing. For me, its nothing but just hair and there’s no deep reason into why I returned natural or how my life is better now I’m natural! I loved my hair relaxed and love it the same natural.

  • Ola Lifetalks

    My opinion in response to this post, is to highlight that in that sentence the subject it not about natural hair. It is more to indirectly say my white or caucasian boyfriend accepts me.

    I don’t think people fully realise that they do this sometimes but its primary school level of thinking. Its so much easier to say exactly how one feels than to try and fit two unrelated subjects in one message.

    I see this a lot on youtube, although I don’t care my belief is that you love yourself first before entering a relationship, so the acceptance of one self starts from themselves before allowing someone else to accept them, and that has nothing to do with race.

    To each their own.

    • The subject didn’t seem like it was about hair I agree even though she gave a good read. I mean I love hearing hair adventures. I guess that’s what the ppl that commented picked up on. it seemed like she was forcing on about the fact that her Caucasian partner accepts her regardless of how she sees herself. Caucasian being the operative word. Now my problem wasn’t in that fact. And like I said, we black women need to stop reading in between the lines all the time! Sometimes, we should let stuff slid and just read the story.
      But you said it so much better. Love yourself,be comfy in your skin before venturing into a romantic relationship which really is more important: you, accepting yourself.

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