Eine Glückliche Traitor

I have experienced a bit of racism yes but nothing so thick that I go red with rage and lash out(thankfully I have Gorgeousness to calm me down if that ever happened which it almost did…once). Growing up in Nigeria, we are sort of shielded from racism(not tribalism though! That one is a hit in naija) and I guess this is why I never understand the pain black people abroad feel because even though this generation didn’t live in the time of slavery, they are closer and see it happen daily. I watch racial videos on YouTube and see comments from ignorant Caucasians who feel the need to use words like: we made you, we build what you live by….monkeys, you people etc and I say ignorant because they probably don’t know their history past black people in chains.

Why am I rambling on about racism? Well I had this lengthy talk about it with a friend and the points she made got me thinking that I really was in no position to judge people who play the racist card in every thing. Sure this will not help stop racism and that reason alone is what gets me angry when people start to go on about the so called card life dealt them.

From grumbling about the Asians taking over the hair industry especially as black women are their biggest clients, accusing women who choose to tame their kinky hair with relaxers(which ironically was invented by a black man)of bowing down to the European standards of beauty, to condemning black people who sell their business ideas to other races…..Dr dre let’s have a small talk…and how people in interracial relationships are traitors…#sideeyes

According to a particular post I was following, “they” (by they you do know I mean Caucasians) are still trying to be in control of the world. And this had me thinking about the “mallams” (title given to every Muslim man in naija!) Someone once said after another grumbled about how muslim men are everywhere in every corner of each city in Nigeria, that they are placed in every corner of the country waiting for the bell to be rung so they can bring out their powerful rifles hidden somewhere inside their dingy kiosks, ready to take over the world!

Ever since meeting Gorgeousness, I try to live by a code: evil begets evil and also try to stick with being happy. He is the most patient and stress free person you would ever meet. And his peaceful nature just rubs off the perfect way! I’m a better person and find humor in life’s surprises since the day I first met him at the Köln bhf wearing the most gawd awful looking jacket. Have we had fights since we met? No, not at all…hey I did try to pick a fight(I’m a very opinionated Nigerian woman, sue me) once when I was very upset with him but it just wasn’t worth it cos his loveable nature is basically stronger than my quarrelsome self and wins every time.

So this is me telling myself to stop being judgmental and even though I won’t get the anger most people feel(don’t get me wrong, I get upset when someone is discriminated against based on race, gender or sexual orientation), I do however understand it.

There’s too much crap going on in the world, so grabbing something as silly as hate for another race and holding on to it is just too darn hard abeg!


About the author



  • Janyl Benyl

    Ponestly, whenever I find anyone that feels the need to be racial or discriminatory, I usually count it for them as a desperate cry for help.

    • That sounds about right janyl. They are hurting one way and the only method they can ask for help is to be discriminatory. Same thing with bullies which is why standing up to them can go both ways

  • Janyl Benyl


  • La Deutsche Diva

    It took me a long time to realize that racism is based on fear.

    I’m glad his calm nature rubs off on you. I need someone like that. Instead of someone who makes me perform a one woman homage to the exorcist!


    La Deutsche Diva

    • Yes!! Fear is the basis for racism but fear of what oder? I bet if you question three racist people, their honest answers will be totally different if of course they are willing to be truthful. We are tired of hearing the same shit….it has gotten too old and ppl tend to hide behind reasons bestowed upon them by ancestors!
      Hahah yes it rubs off pretty nicely. Lets perform exorcism together! Lol du bist sehr lustig weiß du?!!!!??

  • Toin

    Gorgeousness is such a peaceful cutie

  • Clara

    I think coming from Nigeria, we’re lucky enough to not have quite the same experiences of insidious racism as other black and ethnic minorities face in countries. I mean if someone tells a child growing up in Nigeria that he cannot be president because of the colour of his skin, he’ll just look at you like YOU’RE the idiot and kimt. In the US for instance, that was not the case until very recently. This is just one example, but we don’t tend to think about this kinds of things when we accuse people of playing the race card. Racism is much more complicated than just the explicit things we see. I think even more harmful is the implicit version…seen in the poverty of aspiration, the systematic denial of basic human rights, the destruction of self-esteem, the complete rendering of whole communities invisible, the appropriation of our bodies and spaces and so. All these things have HUGE impacts that cannot easily be quantified, and yes many of them lead to people being sensitised, sensitive and always on the defensive. Thank God that we had the privilege of growing up in a majority black country and were prevented from suffering this, and assimilating these ideas. And thank God for calm G!


  • Ola Lifetalks

    loool at the jacket, you know its true love when you can be honest like that.

    You are so right, sometimes am still not sure why we live in a racist world, when we are well aware of the other race, I think some people like to hold to anything that resembles power even if its masked in hate and ignorance.

    You are G are perfect for one another.

Log In