Germany Integration naija blues

Seine Frau Ist Seltsam!!

Being married to Gorgeousness, I have to say that it is quite hilarious seeing him deal with my extreme Nigerian-ness. When we first started dating, I was always asking him why he asked me out seeing as he had never been with a black woman and his answer was always the same (hence I stopped asking!): I didn’t think about your race, he would say. You seemed nice (errrr duh! Yes) and I have been around a lot of people so after a while, race doesn’t matter anymore! I think he once said: oh my goodness! You are black?! Yeah he can be annoyingly funny like that.

So the list I talked about on Instagram? Here goes:

Nigerian Lingo

I went to a boarding school as a teenager and picked up quite a few words that may seem gibberish to a foreigner. Words like: shebi, abi, shey, now(wait now, come now, you know now) how far, wahala etc. Now they are basically filling words and can also be used for expressions. The word wahala is pidgin for problem. The first time he heard these words, poor sweetness was confused and would go huh? Now, he just gets me too well.

Ice Breaker

I love ice cubes and would darn well chew them like my life depends on it. The first few times he saw me do this(we were having ourselves a few glasses of Baileys and y’all know that shit is amazing with ice cubes!) he nearly passed out. Chewing ice cubes? Why? My answer? I have no idea. It’s something a lot of us did as kids….probably from all that colored ice we would buy at the school kiosks or from cycling vendors. The heat in Nigeria? Ha! Chewing ice just becomes a way of life. Now, he just passes his empty liquor glass with the ice cubes inside to me!

Anything Goes

One Sunday morning, we didn’t have enough bread for bfast(our butts got so lazy the day before we didn’t go to Netto) so I offered him the few slices, saying I will have the left over rice from the day before as bfast. “What? Rice as bfast? That’s not possible!” He said to me. My answer? “Sweetheart, I’m Nigerian, we would bloody well have Eba and afang soup as bfast!”

Nur Butter

In Germany, bfast is basically sacred and everything breakfastable is eaten! Jam/marmalade, salami, butter, bread paste of some sorts, honey, chocolate spread…the list is endless. In Nigeria, give us only butter and we are eternally grateful! When he first noticed me eating my slice with just butter(I heap that baby a lot!), he thought I was strange. Only butter? How can you eat bread like that? My very famous answer? I’m Nigerian! It comes with the childhood!!

Boiled Eggs Drama

A lot of Europeans eat their cooked eggs in an eierbecher with a spoon, half peeled. In Nigeria? Well, we peel off the shell completely and either use a fork if eating it with rice or indomie(noodles) or just hand eat it! Of course Gorgeousness thought that really odd….Boiled egg in a cup ke? Haba!

Nigerianisches Essen

I must admit that I never imagined what his reaction to Nigerian food would be. I just assumed he would eat whatever I cook and that’s what happened! It helps that he’s a food lover and would try whatever looks or smells good! He would eat egusi, rice and stew, beans in any form everyday if we could! Hell, he turns poundo yam a lot better than I do and his puff-puff and akara frying skills are envious!

However, he can’t quite get used to ogbonno soup! Yeah, that’s a no for him which ironically is my top three fave naija soup so yeah, that’s not on our menu. I would probably make it when I eat lunch alone.

To be fair, I’m a totally strange human being. Add Nigerian to the mix, you get utter chaos but he keeps up real good and I couldn’t have prayed to my God for a better man! I think we will definitely see a lot more drama when the kids start popping out of the oven!

It’s spring soon people! Ein schönes Wochenende


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