Germany Integration naija blues

Seine Frau Ist Seltsam!!

Being married to Gorgeousness, I have to say that it is quite hilarious seeing him deal with my extreme Nigerian-ness. When we first started dating, I was always asking him why he asked me out seeing as he had never been with a black woman and his answer was always the same (hence I stopped asking!): I didn’t think about your race, he would say. You seemed nice (errrr duh! Yes) and I have been around a lot of people so after a while, race doesn’t matter anymore! I think he once said: oh my goodness! You are black?! Yeah he can be annoyingly funny like that.

So the list I talked about on Instagram? Here goes:

Nigerian Lingo

I went to a boarding school as a teenager and picked up quite a few words that may seem gibberish to a foreigner. Words like: shebi, abi, shey, now(wait now, come now, you know now) how far, wahala etc. Now they are basically filling words and can also be used for expressions. The word wahala is pidgin for problem. The first time he heard these words, poor sweetness was confused and would go huh? Now, he just gets me too well.

Ice Breaker

I love ice cubes and would darn well chew them like my life depends on it. The first few times he saw me do this(we were having ourselves a few glasses of Baileys and y’all know that shit is amazing with ice cubes!) he nearly passed out. Chewing ice cubes? Why? My answer? I have no idea. It’s something a lot of us did as kids….probably from all that colored ice we would buy at the school kiosks or from cycling vendors. The heat in Nigeria? Ha! Chewing ice just becomes a way of life. Now, he just passes his empty liquor glass with the ice cubes inside to me!

Anything Goes

One Sunday morning, we didn’t have enough bread for bfast(our butts got so lazy the day before we didn’t go to Netto) so I offered him the few slices, saying I will have the left over rice from the day before as bfast. “What? Rice as bfast? That’s not possible!” He said to me. My answer? “Sweetheart, I’m Nigerian, we would bloody well have Eba and afang soup as bfast!”

Nur Butter

In Germany, bfast is basically sacred and everything breakfastable is eaten! Jam/marmalade, salami, butter, bread paste of some sorts, honey, chocolate spread…the list is endless. In Nigeria, give us only butter and we are eternally grateful! When he first noticed me eating my slice with just butter(I heap that baby a lot!), he thought I was strange. Only butter? How can you eat bread like that? My very famous answer? I’m Nigerian! It comes with the childhood!!

Boiled Eggs Drama

A lot of Europeans eat their cooked eggs in an eierbecher with a spoon, half peeled. In Nigeria? Well, we peel off the shell completely and either use a fork if eating it with rice or indomie(noodles) or just hand eat it! Of course Gorgeousness thought that really odd….Boiled egg in a cup ke? Haba!

Nigerianisches Essen

I must admit that I never imagined what his reaction to Nigerian food would be. I just assumed he would eat whatever I cook and that’s what happened! It helps that he’s a food lover and would try whatever looks or smells good! He would eat egusi, rice and stew, beans in any form everyday if we could! Hell, he turns poundo yam a lot better than I do and his puff-puff and akara frying skills are envious!

However, he can’t quite get used to ogbonno soup! Yeah, that’s a no for him which ironically is my top three fave naija soup so yeah, that’s not on our menu. I would probably make it when I eat lunch alone.

To be fair, I’m a totally strange human being. Add Nigerian to the mix, you get utter chaos but he keeps up real good and I couldn’t have prayed to my God for a better man! I think we will definitely see a lot more drama when the kids start popping out of the oven!

It’s spring soon people! Ein schönes Wochenende

 

About the author

phoenix

phoenix

  • anonymous

    I’m guessing seltsam means odd! You go give the bobo heart attack with your weirdness hahaha. Naija certainly no dey carry last. We leave our marks every where! You two sound so in love

    • Hahaha yup it sure does…every possible adjective that goes with odd! Lol
      Nah, he is used to it now….I’ve basically run out of weird around him! Well we definitely are extremely in love! Last ke? Nooooo o we never do!

  • La Deutsche Diva

    It’s amazing how similar we are…I have some of the same experiences (chewing on ice growing up, food, etc). I guess there is a little Olanna in me the whole time! 🙂

    Good read <3,

    La Deutsche Diva
    http://ladeutschediva.blogspot.de

  • Lohla Windfall

    This post made me smile. Its tough living with someone who’s not your sibling but a stranger whom you happened to fall inlove with and agreed to marry. I imagine its tougher/more fun doing that with someone of different cultural, social and traditional background.

    • Hahah def…depending on how you look at it right? It can be chaotic of course but that’s the fun part!

  • New Dawn.

    Wait! Before I comment, can you believe on my blogroll is sayimg you updated 3 weeks ago? It was when i visited Clara blog, I decided to see yours and ask how far? Then I saw this your halirious post! Dunno whats going on with blogger o! Even my g+ did not inform me!

    I gbadun this post wella! HA! Those 9ja lingos, nah the koko o! A word can describe a situation without much grammar o jare!

    AHAHAHA @ eat eba with afang soup! Before nkO? Anything goes o jare! Infact,some 9jas don’t want all these medimedi for b/f, because e no dey hold belly! ahahaha. Rice is the popular b/f in Nigeria. I cook rice everyday o!

    EHEN! Eat egg with fork ke? Immediately I peel it, after cooking it well, straight into my mouth! If I want to eat it with rice, I use my spoon to cut it into 4 parts and scoop with my rice…ahahha.

    Bread and butter is the ish in 9ja.. ha! Big man food be that o! So they eat all that for b/f…oti too much ke? ahahaha.

    You see, I love our tenacity.We can adjust to any situation.

    • Sorry Jor! They are tripping abi lol. I started a new level in school and its tougher than abc!
      Lol naija Lingo’s are def a rush for me some times! I had to learn to stop using some of them cos of my father. He hated those words and I drove him bonkers using them while talking with him. Oh lawd yes! Rice is the serious ish
      And I agree we do tend to adjust very well!

  • Toin

    Lmaooo i lloved this post. You both sounds like a trip. Love it

    Anything goes for breakfast jare. No time for sme sme

    • Hahahah thank you Toin. We dey try small small even as boring as we tend to be! Anything def goes for bfast jor!

  • Clara

    Du bist nicht seltsam, du bist gerade Nigerianische lol!

  • Ola Lifetalks

    awwwwwwwwww my friends this is too cute you guys.

    awww my sister I high five you that one sha my friends look at me funny when i have my breakfast as if banana is meant to get me through the morning, the wickedness when I go to work and they offer crisp and coffee, or even the time i tried to give my dad cereal for his breakfast he looked at me differently.

    great post x

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