Germany Information Integration

Weird Gesetze, Disappearing Spouses And Doses Of Silly

Hey y´all

I recently joined a certain social media page and it is totally interesting the topics that get into discussions over there.

Now what I like about it is how respectful people actually are….strange. On most social media sites, people tend to get nasty, racial and very angry.

But anyways, there was a topic about what one could do in the USA that was not even possible in Germany! This got me thinking that truly, there are some really weird laws in Germany but when you stop getting mad at the law and try to understand the reasoning behind it, you would find out that it isn´t so bad after all. Which is sort of like people being angry with the football player who refused to stand for the national anthem. Why don’t you stop being mad at his action and try to understand why he would do something so powerful.

Ok so in no particular order:

Not With My Kind(er)

Last week, one of my co workers talked about how she isn´t able to travel to Thailand with her kids because her ex wouldn´t allow it and I´m like what the? They are your kids too why would he open his “gaddamn” mouth and make such a rule! Oh no that´s the way it is two other women replied and I´m thinking: you guys must have either married asswipes or you two are as dodgy as hell. So I come home and went all snorting bull on the subject and Liebhaber formerly known as Gorgeousness said they were right. Apparently, in Germany especially for a couple from two different cultures, the foreign spouse doesn´t get to travel to their home country with the kids because they may decide to you know, not return, thereby alienating the kids from the other parent. This is why kids cannot travel to the foreign parents´country as long as the judge has made that rule. You can and will get into serious wahala if you break it!

Haha I guess the German Govt would have to make provision for spouses with large families when this happens cos kids need to see the other side of the family oder…at least if said family is close knit. It sure is strange but hey it makes sense!

Geh sofort zum Autowaschhaus!

Growing up, we never went to the car wash…if we did, I truly do not remember. My mum always got her driver to do that. Now before she hired one, it was our duty to make certain that her precious car was clean…everyday. She would announce whose turn it was to wash the tyres and who had to clean inside plus the outside! In Germany, it is against the law to wash your car on the street!

The reason behind this is protecting the environment. All that oil and gasoline gunk that gets washed off is extremely bad for the environment. At the car wash, the dirty water is recycled so they probably have people who control this pattern.

Who you gonna call?

So, as far as I know, in Nigeria and the USA, the trash trucks pick up your crap. In certain American cities, you separate your bio from regular trash. In Nigeria, no such thing as separate! Bag the crap and put it out front the night before so the trash truck drives away with it. In Germany however, every bloody thing is separated which isn’t so bad really, just nervig! Bio, paper and normal crap get separated. Now if you have like old furniture or old monitor etc you need to toss out, the Sperrmüll firm gets called. Some cities have a sort of calender type thing where you can quickly check their itinerary and perfectly choose a day that works for you and them. So the reason behind this is a special firm picks up the Sperrmüll because of certain chemicals that is possibly present in your trash. Imagine you want to toss an old fridge? Yup you get the picture. They basically disassemble your crap and properly dispose of it. Yeah the Germans have a thing for protecting the environment oder?!


So you want to build your own home in Germany? Speaking of being a home owner, for the rest of world it is like a sort of status thing. In America at least. Everyone feels so much pride being a home owner and I get that. My dad was able to build a house for my mum before he passed away so she doesn’t have to worry about paying her rent. That money could be put to better use. There are of course home owners in Germany duh! But the thing people are quick to forget about owning a house is all the laws that come with it. You have to be certain your heating needs to be up to standard, your gas filters if you use those must be according to the laws of environmental protection. You need to pay for street repairs, be up to date on laws concerning electrical upgrades usw and imagine that you either loose your job or cannot keep up with the expenses for some reason. Then you get forced to sell your home and move into an apartment. These are just the few disadvantages people need to take into consideration before owning homes in Germany. Now that said, you want to build a home? Well sure you have the land all paid for an all, but the law requires you to register your plans at the above Amt. The city has zones for shops, industries and houses so registering is like letting the city know your intentions and you don’t accidentally build on the wrong spot especially as different lands have different taxes. Now I’m guessing some such law is present in Nigeria but my belief is that it isn’t as strict or bureaucratic involving tons of paperwork and inspections which of course isn’t a bad thing!

What’s on TV

In Germany, a thing called GEZ exists! What the heck is that? I will tell you… GEZ is an organisation responsible for collecting TV/Radio fees. Every apartment in Germany must pay this fee. There are private and government owned TV stations right? So the GEZ is the government owned stations and the idea from what I understand is to control information between stations. So why is the monthly fee mandatory? I have no idea whatsoever. It doesn’t matter if you own no TV or radio. You have to pay. You are basically bound by law to pay this fee. It’s sort of like a subscription. You either pay monthly, every three or six months or you pay yearly. We pay €50.50 every three months. The public hates this law…with good reason oder? But it’s the law, you have to abide by it.

Ich heiße Apfel….wassss? Deine Eltern sind verrückt?!@$#%€£

So you just had the miracle of child birth and you have not made up your mind what name to give your baby? Hint: don’t go all Hollywood crazy and name your kid after a DC comic character, a fruit, some distant star or a planet you are never going to visit! Why? Because that’s the law. Names for German kids have to be approved. Why? I have no idea why this law was put in place but I do like it! Sadly, I cannot name my kid Kiefer which is what I always wanted! Liebhaber seems to think it will not be approved! Haha. The government needs their future tax payers to have reasonable sounding name I suppose!

Home schooling

There’s a no brainer abi? To be honest I do like the idea of home schooling kids up to 10 but the truth is an actual school is rather smarter. The kids can learn tolerance, interaction and handling situations that involve peers. So no. Here mussen alle Kinder in die Schule gehen! Kindergarten isn’t mandatory actually so that’s cool. Yeah so that’s the law. Every child MUST go to school. There is no escaping it! Home schooling isn’t a thing here. Like at all!

Gun toting singers

Nope, you cannot own a gun. You cannot even shoot a burglar who breaks in to your home. A sort of equal force law type thing is possible. Everything but shoot is allowed. To own a gun, you must go through a series of tests and of course you must be crime free. You can’t have been in a fight for example or broken several laws and apply for a gun permit. Nah ah!

Don’t walk away!

So you have been working for years now and suddenly want to quit cos hey, you got another amazing job! Well it don’t work that way darling! You have to give a two to three months notice. That’s the law and you best stick with it. Likewise the Arbeitgeber cannot just wake up one day and fire you! Yeah a country where the union actually works eh?! It can be dangerous really but that’s the law. Imagine that you decide to apply for a job but then you cannot just up and resign. So you best pray your skills are highly sort after so the new firm would wait for you!

The track rule!

So let’s talk points! Drivers are put on points here. If you break a traffic law, you get points added on driving licence. Now when said points gets to a certain level, your driving licence is taken away from you and you are bound by law to take something called the idiot’s test! Trust me, it sounds nicer auf deutsch! Medizinisch-psychologische Untersuchung! See? Nicer!

Dry Bones!

Well, Liebhaber and I have solved this one! We will be cremated so our kids don’t have to spend money on the up keep of our grave sites! Yup. It’s the law, you must pay the rent or upkeep of your grave site! Some say your remains will be removed! I def do not think so but you can get into serious wahala if you don’t pay up!

Shopping made…easy?

So usually you would go into a lot of stores and pick up free shopping bags. Well now? A new law has been set. Every store distributing bags must charge for them. Some stores already charge which is why the reusable shopping bags are a way of life here. So this law didn’t turn anyone’s life into chaos! I can assure you that every home you visit has a few shopping bags from either Aldi, Netto, Rewe, DM etc! I never pay for shopping bags except I have to…emphasis on the have to! We have a lot of them at home thank you very much!

There are a ton of weird laws in Germany and a foreigner would definitely find them all crazy but the truth is this is a country where the system actually works and people are not just proud to be Germans by word of mouth. They actually help the system work and that’s why I always argue about the Nigerian government and its people. Sure the conditions are crazy, the government doesn’t help the citizens or encourage them to be patriotic and everyone is looking out for numero uno and all but sometimes, the citizens can also help in creating a great nation. How you ask? Well for nigeria, it’s a question for the gods. Could also be a million dollar question except someone would think up ways to get the money instead of figuring out that answer! Do I blame them? Why? A bag of rice is almost 30k so hey by all means, do what you see fit!

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