On the fifth day of Christmas, I did not get five golden rings. I did however spend the afternoon with an amazing person I met on instagram. Alexandra is Nigerian just like me and meeting her, hearing her speak was very nostalgic for me. Memories of life in Nigeria were awoken.
Today, I was basically reminded about the importance of friendship. There I am, in the comfy train, reading the first part of Luvvie Ajayi’s book on friendship and it got me thinking that I have never really boxed my friends before. Is that a bad thing? Hell no! It just means that they are and have always been there for me and the question is have I been there for them? I like to think so. At least in my own genuine way.
The people I call friends are women who I grew up with, went to university with. But the truth is friends can be made in weeks, months, hell even days.
According to Luvvie’s book, good friends are lifelines. They see you through bad, crazy, and good times. They stay by your side regardless of the fact that you look like “bad decisions and Levi’s factory remnants”(Luvvie’s words not mine!).
This few pages dedicated to judging the bad side of friendship is all kinds of amaze balls and the truth is we all have had one or more of those kinds of friends. The ones who make you doubt your ability to repel stupidity! The ones you want to cuddle and land mature slaps on their cheeks at the same time.
Ever since moving to Germany I have made certain to keep contacts with my friends back in Nigeria because they are women I want to spend my life knowing. Have they ever upset me or made me want to scream? Duh! That’s what friendship is about right?
When you have a job that doesn’t give you room for socialising, the question you ask yourself is how important the people you call friends are. Are they important enough for you to make the effort to include them in your life? Sure social media makes it possible for people to be in your life. After a day’s work, you clock into instagram or facebook and twitter. But is that the type of friendship you want?
To make announcements online, to showcase your life online? Is that it?
What happened to calling a friend up and either going to theirs for lunch or dinner and inviting them over? Hanging out at the mall for some window shopping, convincing yourself that you just want to look in. Then this store is having massive 70% discount and you know you will be doing yourself a lot of bad if you didn’t take advantage! Even though the sales prices are very well what the original prices should be!???? But pay me no never mind, I am just a happy cheapskate!
Arranging a night out where the men stay with the kids or Oma gets some cool bonding time with her Enkel Kinder for those with kids. Not that the men can’t have a boys night in/out of course!
This social life isn’t just for teenagers or young adults. Us old timers need it too and as much as I love to go shopping with Liebhaber or alone, sometimes it is fun to do so with a friend. Where you can talk about things and get the proper and genuine responses. Where you can stare at the cute butts of the men walking ahead of you, laugh yourselves silly at the girl with the weird hair. Or side eye the girl with boobs you dream of.
Not a world problem but it makes life way easier to handle.
I read this post on friendship and I think you should too. The blogger quoted an author. C.L. Lewis I think it was who said that friendship, like philosophy and art is unnecessary. It has no survival value, rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
She also made reference to the stupidity of society that basically insults the value of friendship. Which I think is spot on. Sure platonic friendship can lead to romance but that is not always the case.
Who are you to your friends? What sort of friend are you? The Competitor or The Lannister? The SOS pal or The Frenemy? The Flake or The Enabler?
Yes I am obviously giving you a bit of spoilers from my Luvvie Ajayi book! Go get your copy and thank me later!