It’s been almost two weeks since our Urlaub began and we are totally enjoying it.
Sure we didn’t do all of the things we had listed out for the three weeks but staying in together has been heavenly.
We never take it lightly, how lucky we are to have each other. These past years has been the best ever and I know that as long as we believe in our love for each other, the faith that brought us together, the hope of a better future, then we will be fine.
Sounds pretty easy doesn’t it? But because of how different we are, it makes for ease in my opinion. Sure, there are people who are so much alike and it works out just fine. But for us, it’s the complete opposite and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
I have an old friend who keeps getting her heart broken ever so often so I suggested she tries online dating. This is not to say that online dating would work. Just to get her to try it out and get her mind off depression.
So we worked on creating a profile on the OK cupid website which is where Liebhaber and I met. Then she tells me that the site is not free. They requested that she pay a certain amount of money to read or send messages to potential dates and I was gobsmacked. She does get a three day free trial where she can just view the site but can’t interact with anyone and just to be sure, I created a bogus account, gave her the log in details and told her to try opening it from her end and she couldn’t.
So we try another website (using her email address) called lovoo which requires you to click on a link before you can interact with people but when she tried clicking the link, a page came up, telling her that the creator of the site has banned IP addresses in Nigeria from accessing said site.
This got me thinking about how unfair it was. Sure I get that the whole online scams has hurt so many people and scammers from Nigeria are among the worst kind.
But the truth is the people who let themselves get scammed have to be the most idiotic human beings the world has produced.
Once while in school, someone approached a friend about appearing on a Webcam for about 20,000naira. This may seem odd but just remember that the age of scamming was quite recent(at least I was just hearing about online scams then) and some guy had met an American man online who promised to give him whatever he wanted but of course said American man assumed he was talking to a girl. They had communicated for a while and it was time to do a video call. This is where my friend’s face came in.
She asked me what I thought and if she should to which of course I said hell no. Do not be a part of someone’s depression. But the scammer kept hounding her so I told her to request for 100,000 naira because I knew the scammer would not part with such money.
And I was right. The minute she asked for the amount, he moved on to the next girl he could find.
Fast forward to a few years later when I met some English bloke online and we hit it off as great friends. He later told me about the Nigerian girl he had met online and couldn’t wait to have her visit him, get married and have loads of kids. Told me how she was so amazing, how he even spoke to her mother on the phone and how beautiful she sounded.
Fast forward again to a few months later. As he fell in love, he stopped writing me and would ignore all my messages. Then out of the blue he writes me and asks for my help.
He was worried about his lover and wanted to make sure she was OK. He had gotten a laptop, a cellphone and about 500,000 naira sent to her but hadn’t heard from her since she received his gifts. He gives me her phone number and email address after I promised to check up on her which I did.
Of course his lover turned out to be a male scammer living in Lagos. The dude actually responded to me, asking if I was the popo and when I verified who I was he told me to forget about the asswipe!
He goes on to tell me all about the items and cash he scammed from the unsuspecting victim and even tried to recruit me into his business. Girl, you can make a ton of money if you join me. Were his words to me.
I of course told the victim who turned around to blame me for his foolishness and we never spoke to each other again.
I watch news about people who get scammed and I don’t get it at all. Hell, someone tried to scam me once online. He claimed he had sent me a parcel and that to receive it I needed to contact some person in Lagos on the phone. This person now tells me to send him 20,000naira so he can sign for the parcel from the docks and have it posted to me. I told him he shouldn’t worry about that. That I can be in Lagos on the next flight and meet him at the docks myself.
He now says I needed the address and that I should send him call credits so he could text it to me.
I truly was going to ignore him and just enjoy my Lagos trip but then the girlfriend I was with told me to text him 100 naira credit and see what happens.
The rest they say is history!!!
I get that people are lonely and could do anything for company but how blind can you be?
Now online dating sites are banning Nigeria from getting opportunities on love and that’s really sad.
Love isn’t only found online of course. But what about the people who don’t have time for organic dating? Shouldn’t they have a chance at love too? Why should Nigerians have to pay a site to read messages from potential dates just because stupid ass idiots can’t tell a scammer from their interactions?
When I joined the online dating community, I met a lot of Nigerian girls who would tell stories of how they lie about their nationality. Some say they play it safe by sticking with West Africa, others just pick any other country that isn’t known for scams and I never agreed with it but that’s just me. Why should I have to lie about who I am just to make you comfortable?
I went on Google searching for online dating sites in Nigeria and found this one . Ironically, the creator got scammed and if you click the scam alert button, you can catch up on her scam story.
I did read about a Nigerian couple who created a dating site for Nigerians and sadly, I haven’t been able to find the link.
So is there hope for online dating in Nigeria? I have no idea because everything I found online looked dodgy as hell but what’s the harm in trying right? As long as you aren’t parting with your hard earned cash!
So am I being hard on scam victims? You’re damn right I am. Why should another person have to suffer for your foolishness.
Granted, there are some kinds of scam you won’t even see coming a mile away. But online dating scams should be the easiest to spot.
So while being an advocate for online dating, let us as women also be very careful about the men we meet online. Predators are everywhere and have infiltrated every corner so keep a watchful eye out, never go on first dates alone, meet in public places. Never follow strangers into dark alleys and always ask intrusive questions. Yesss.
As much as a lot of us want to settle down and have loads of kids, try to understand the person you are dating, organic or otherwise because human beings are selfish and terrible and won’t care about who they hurt to make themselves happy.
Anyone, man or woman who puts your feelings first, is worth fighting for.
Enjoy the weekend Leute and was für ein tolles wetter oder? Regen regen regen. Wie schön (sarcasm of course).