Life schöne menschen

The Mystery Of Friendship

What exactly does friendship mean? So often, the word friend is seriously taken for granted and we just spew the word out like it’s just regular agege bread. Agege bread isn’t even regular to be honest. What I would give for a hot slice straight out the oven!

I saw a caption on Instagram. A former beauty queen lost her partner because of a friend. When I say lost, I don’t mean that he died. Far from it. So she’s warning people about who they share their good news with. According to her, you are better off keeping your partner to yourself.

ME? I say hogwash.

If you get betrayed by someone you call friend, the truth is they were never your friend in the first place. There are certain levels of betrayal and how you measure betrayal depends on what you think betrayal to you is.

For this lady, betrayal means breaking her heart, causing her partner to leave her. If someone who claims to love you, turns their back on you because someone supposedly close to you told them a sordid secret about you they couldn’t handle, it just means that person was never meant to be with you. Any man or woman who would walk away from love because they couldn’t handle the past or let stupid secrets destroy strong feelings, were never in love or are just as foolish as the person who felt the need to tell a secret that was never theirs to tell in the first place. We as women are so quick to get on social media and post idiotic captions that only end up making you look the fool. Hide your love life, beware of friends, don’t trust friends dada dee dada da. Foolishness.

Friendship is a bond that shouldn’t be joked with. A lot of people have formed great memories with great people they call friends and isn’t that just amazing? Friends could be made in hours, years, and /or months! When you call someone a friend, it has to be a person who you can trust with certain things. Sure there are various types of friends. You should be smart and vigilant enough to measure the people you call friends.

If you have a friend who is a perpetual late comer then why get upset every time she shows up five hours later or not at all. If you have a friend who can’t keep a secret, why tell this friend anything secretive? You get the point abi?

I used to have this friend that was a serial dater (say what?!) she was hardly ever single and each ex always made her cry and I remember always getting upset and wondering why she would let these guys treat her the way they did. Hell, I didn’t get why she felt the need to always have a man by her side. She calls me up for help and I race to her and help the way I can. but I then ask for the simplest things and a man always was the reason she couldn’t do anything for me and when I grumble she would go…oh but you haven’t asked what I was going through at the time of your request. Sistah, a man just broke your heart, that’s what you were going through, it’s never anything else. So I knew I was better off without her as a friend.

I like when friends keep in touch. So if you don’t, there’s no way I would crown you friend because for me friendship is an important relationship and I never understand why I alone should make the effort to keep our friendship candle burning when I’m not alone in this. I think it’s the reason why I’m such a loner most of the time. I believe in the power of true friendship and the greatness the people you call friends can bring to your life. They say man’s no Island and that is true to a certain degree.

If you have a very good friend who for some strange reason can’t hold down secrets, why should you be telling her stuff you don’t want no one to know? Then you be getting angry when she relays the secret to another. The truth is that she may not have been doing it maliciously but to you it won’t seem that way.

You have a friend who is always late for one thing or another and yet you keep expecting her to show up at your own time? Nah.

You have a friend who places so much importance on ding dongs as she does your friendship and you don’t walk away from that?

For me, I think that the older we get, the more we realize that some things aren’t as important as they used to seem when we were 20. Am I placing labels on friends? Well, in a creepy way yes. You need to understand how a friendship works for you to figure out either how to maintain it or how to break away from it.

As mysterious as friendship can be, it’s an important part of our social lives. I see a lot of singles here in Germany, older people who get solace from their pets and I always wonder how they manage that. Some end up dying alone while others are grumpy all the time until their death.

But then again, they are probably the few who managed to become that island. I mean if you think about it, friendship is an expensive lifestyle. You call up a friend and y’all go store and bar hopping, eating out, exchanging gifts at holidays and birthdays.

That shit is expensive.

But it’s beautiful and you want to kick the bucket knowing that you had the immense pleasure of meeting beautiful people who made your life easier and amazing. I have a few people in my life I’ve known since I was 12 and we are very good friends until today. We laugh, we cry, we tease and we call ourselves sisters because that’s how we feel.

I have friends I have recently just made and I couldn’t be happier because they are beautiful people. One of these new friends is a regular late comer and most times won’t even show up. But after the first few times I stopped getting upset about her lateness because it’s who she is and I can’t keep getting mad all the time she shows up late. I learned to work around her lateness.

For example. If we plan to meet up in the city at 1pm, I do not under any circumstance leave my flat until she calls me and says she’s in the city and then I get on the bus.

Friendship is beautiful, it’s mysterious and it’s all the best things in the world.

How have y’all managed to maintain friendships?

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