Family Germany Ivf

When Miracles Take Too Long

If you are a frequent visitor on this blog, you must have an idea the struggles we are currently facing trying to get pregnant.

I come from a seriously fertile family and it’s not a joke. It’s like my sisters are the poster kids for breeding.

So it has been totally difficult for me to process the struggle we are experiencing. We are actually attempting a fourth ivf treatment. We haven’t begun yet but we are gathering all the documents we need since we want to switch doctors. Again.

Anyways, let me not digress here but the point of today’s post is to talk about adoption seeing as November was adoption month.

Do I worry about the possibility of never having my own kids? Duh! Of course I do but as a woman who believes strongly in miracles, I still have that little seed of hope brewing deep inside me. But until we do eventually get pregnant and have our own babies, we will adopt.

I’ve talked to four people about it and two don’t agree with it at all while the other two think it’s a marvelous idea.

But we both have made up our minds about adoption. We even made a call to the Jugendamt and they asked us to email them with our personal details and they will set up an interview with us to determine if we are fit to adopt which they did and in two months we will be sitting with about 4 officials to discuss the possibility of adoption.

I’m totally excited about this but also terrified. Especially as we have heard so many negative things about German adoption processes.

So, Liebhaber and I know we want to adopt two kids, one black and one white. The thing we haven’t agreed on is what sort of adoption we will choose.

I want an open adoption where our adopted kids would know we aren’t theirs biologically and I want them to have regular contact with their birth mums. It has to be a difficult situation giving up a baby you conceived and I can understand this because one of my sisters back in Nigeria couldn’t. Yes, I asked her if she would be willing to let us adopt her smallest and she said no. She could not comprehend the idea of separation from one kid.

Was I upset? Not at all. I completely understand the separation issue. Was I jealous? Maybe more than just a little bit. Jealous that having kids comes very easy to my sisters and all the other mothers I see on the streets while we are spending all our savings trying to get one viable egg to survive and stick around for nine months and be brought into this big bad world and have us protect them from the evils of it. At least for as long as we can.

It might sound weird to people, me asking my sister to let us adopt one kid from her. But because I am bent on an open adoption where the kids are in contact with their birth parents  I thought it was a great idea for the kids we adopt to be blood related.

Gorgeousness is worried that the birth mums could be drug addicts or just down right crazy and of course if that’s the case, then I have to change my mind about open adoption. Drug addiction is nothing to joke about or mess around with. I’ve seen it first hand, close friends who got sucked into that life and until this day, still struggling to find the right path.

My mother was never open minded about adoption and I once asked her why and she’s like: how would it look if people saw you with a kid that looks nothing like you or your husband.

I struggled with being different all my life and I think it’s one of the reasons I’m very open minded about other people’s differences and I never really thought about it until I moved to Germany.

What does it matter if my kids look nothing like me? What does it matter if I can’t be a heels wearing woman? Lol totally unrelated but stick with it.

This November turned out great. It’s the month before Christmas, it’s my birth month and it’s national adoption month.

It had to be great! And it was! We got our appointment date for adoption, Liebhaber got a new job and I worked extra hours at work which got me extra pay for that beautiful pair of doc Martens I’ve been dreaming of.

I’m totally looking forward to this adoption and I hope everything goes smoothly.

Let’s make December as amazing as November was! It’s the last month and it’s of course the month of Christmas!

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